An Important Admission of Guilt


Hi! Hey! Hello there!

I have something very important to tell you.

It’s a secret … Come closer… Listen carefully…

I am complicit

It’s not as simple as it sounds I promise. Give me a second. Let’s take a walk.

But,

Before things get too serious. Let’s chill a little. Get some coffee? I love coffee. Don’t you? The smell. The taste. It’s a great way to start the day and my favourite café happens to be right around the corner.

“R1 please sir?” says a scruffy looking man on the sidewalk. Don’t make eye contact, my friend. Ignore him. You can’t help everyone you know!

Shhh… I told you remember? I am complicit.

Sit down my Amigo, let me get you a Cappuccino?

“What’s happening in the world today?” I ask you casting my eyes over to the newspaper sprawled across the table on our right.

Ah! It’s the saga with the Burkha in France. Remember that? “What do you think about the Burkha anyway?” You ask me. “At the end of the day the burkha is an instrument of oppression” I tell you ever so matter-o-factly. “I’m a feminist you know” I declare proudly puffing out my chest as if to bring attention to the imaginary bright shiny I’m-a-good-person badge I keep pinned on my jacket.

WAIT! One second!

Look over there!

My goodness. Did you see that girl who just walked in? “She’s gorgeous” I tell you. I tell you about her hair, her eyes, her body.

I am mezmoriized. “I’m in love” I will tell you as I sip my cappuccino dramatically.

What can I do to catch her eye? “What do you think my friend? Let’s conspire!”

“How can I get her”

Oh you’re surprised by what I said?

“Shh.. Lower your voice… Did I not tell you? Don’t forget my secret… I am complicit.

“Oh is that the time?” I shout. Let’s get the bill. We have places to go my friend, there’s more I want to share with you.

Let’s head to the beach. It’s a wonderful day. We can soak up the sun and grab a cocktail on the white sands of Camps Bay.

Ah! Here we are! The Pridelands of the rich and famous. “Look how obscenely they live?” I exclaim. “We are mere whispers away from the poorest of the poor… inequity in this country… makes me so angry” I lament to you while we walk out onto the deck of our next destination. Bathed in sun. Drowning in the excess … that surrounded us.

I am complicit.

We find our seats and gesture towards the waitress as we look out to the infinite coastline  in front of us. Listening intently to the soft music of water running emanating from elaborate water feature that characterized the small trendy beach lounge we languished in.

“Friend it’s time I tell you. I must confess…” I say slinking back into my chair.

“My head and my heart are misaligned. No matter how much I seem to learn. No matter how quickly. I do not seem to have the conviction to put my heart behind what I know to be true.”

You ask me what it is I want to do. I tell you I want to change the world.

But really,

What I know I need to do. Is to change myself.

And mean it.

But,

My heart cannot be trusted. Corrupted by the plague of a world that is dying. Guilty of crimes that when done by my own hands appear silent … And yet so loud when committed by another. I know that I can live so comfortably in this world I criticize so much. Enjoying so called liberties like drugs I know I probably shouldn’t touch. Yet I know in my heart that I will never be free if I simply choose to let things be.

*Sigh*

It’s getting late.

But,

Friend, I have but one last secret to share with you.

You, my dear friend, are complicit too.

I assure you.

Now. Let’s take a walk. Let’s figure out together what on earth it is that we’re going to do.

 

 

 

 

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