Cost of Consciousness


What is the cost of the pursuit of consciousness?

What is it to willingly prepare. To bear. An increasingly intricate understanding of pain.
That everyday. Everyone. Must witness.

Where must the strength come from? To build capacity – and challenge – How do we manufacture?
While slowly the sheer weight of Injustice causes your knees to buckle. Causing your very bones to fracture.

What is the cost of the pursuit of consciousness?
To accept the truth that you too are destructive.
That you too – hold within you. Painful constructions. Corruptions.

From what pool of emotional resources must we draw from?
To support each other. Each struggling in our own ways. What must be done? What must be undone?

Why do I know so many young people on Anti-depressants?
And yet why do I know so many young people who could seemingly care less? – Living La Vida Loca. Living what looks from a distance. Like Happiness.
What does it mean, to dare to encourage another. To turn away from that comfort.
Whether or not you believe it to be real. How does one encourage another to embrace pain.

..

I am not a religious man.
But when my sisters and my brothers. Who want to draw from the immeasurable strength of a tight-knitted community. What can I say? When they turn to the church. Where is the community outside so called Holy walls and Hallowed halls? What community is ready to embrace a stranger? And help them build to fend of the heaviness. Of what it is to be alive.

..

What is the cost of the pursuit of consciousness?
If it is causing you. If it causes me. A different kind of alienation.
One that surely requires. Each of us. To look to one another for support.
But yet – leaves us sensitive to each others’ touch.
Hesitant to speak. Intimated by each others roughness.
That we each adorn. As if to fend off the harshness. Sometimes by feigning. Or at times truly embracing. Mental toughness.

What is the cost of the pursuit of consciousness.
What am I asking of myself. Asking of you?
What do we expect from one another?
What is it to choose the safety of micro-level changes?
Still cast in light from macro-level framing.

When will we turn the corner?
And treat each other a little warmer.
When will we escape. The paralysis of our fate.
When will we escape the burden of self hate?
What will be the cost of consciousness?
In the light of a limited life.
One that will never experience the fullness of freedom.
Which can only exist in another time.
Will we be able to accept, the pursuit of a better life.
For the ones that we will never get to meet.

But what will be cost of abandoning the pursuit of understanding.
When you are privileged enough to entertain a choice to improve the life others.
What will you choose?
And what will be that cost?
Who will bear that cost?
..

I think that we should speak – But we needn’t talk.
You and me. In fact we can even just take a walk.
Lowering the cost of righteousness.
Working this through together.
Building each others wings. Lending ourselves to one another. Forming for each other into feathers.
Taking flight.
And preparing for an eternal fight.

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