In a room with no doors.


2015-06-21 19.37.12

In a room with no doors.

Trapped in a room with no doors.
Laying on my bed, opening my eyes lazily only to have them fix on the dancing lights shooting across the makeshift sky that was my ceiling.

They could have been stars, I thought.

Removing my covers, I stood up, moving into the center of the room staring at the walls.
Searching for the door –

There was none.

The four walls around me moved from blurry to sharpened focus, they glowed softly with lights seeping from the fluid paint smeared across them.
The pain itself was alive. It flowed –

Organising & Reorganising,

Into shapes of people, places and things, many of which I have long since known.
Stepping closer to my right I recognise a shape, a face?

Her face.

Beaming in my direction, laughing with her eyes as large as dinner plates.
Look at me, staring right through me.
My hand traces the line of her smiling face and is met with the cold of concrete that defied the warmth that I had long since known.
Biting my lip and recoiling my hand, I rubbed my eyes as if to remove from my sight a memory from once upon a time.

I sat for a while.

In the middle of a room with no doors.
Lifting my bowed head, I look ahead.
I see the sinister orange flames surrounding the head of a soul labelled “Immagrant”.
In abject horror I look away,
Only to see the falling of a body as it fled –
From the Police – Shooting warning shots –
Falling to its final tarred bed.

Catching a cold sweat, I wipe away the tears that fall from my very skin.
Breathing heavily looking to escape, I fled to the darkness of the final two adjacent walls.
With my back against the corner and my head titled to the left –
I see bubbles floating through the murky blue ocean water.
Bubbles of air, leaving the lungs of bodies that steadily grow limp,
As they claw in terror – Grasping for the surface.

Now,
Numb.

Left in silence but surrounded by the deafening echo of my quickening heartbeat, I cast my gaze upon the final wall..
And I see,
Nothing at all.

Staring into the abyss, I lose all sense of orientation.
Hours pass as I resist averting my gaze from darkness,
Out of fear of the light of the remaining walls.

In a haze of dizziness I feel my eyes close,
I am no longer in any kind of control.
.
.
Coming to,
I feel a cold wind against my skin as I open my eyes.
Sitting up, clasping my arms across my chest, I looked around –
In shock.
.
.
I sat for a while, this time –
In a room with no walls.

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